Threads

In the beginning!

God created the sky, the stars, the Earth, and… a big mess.

It wasn’t supposed to be a mess. At first, things went really well.

The sun worked and the moon showed up on time and trees grew.

Cats were invented.

God was feeling pretty proud.

But somewhere along the way, God lost the instruction manual.

This was a problem, because there was one very important note in the corner of that manual:

“Do NOT give humans free will before giving them empathy.”

OOPS! ARGHHHH! Meow!

Creation (Also Known As: “Let’s See What Happens”)

We have always assumed, omniscience means God knew everything.

This is turning out to be false.
It looks a lot like God assumed everything.

Assumed humans would behave.

Assumed free will came with common sense.

– Assumed no one would weaponize their shoe.

“Ever had your mom take off her slipper and beat you with it?”

God didn’t account for that level of innovation.

Unfortunately, the early version of humanity had two dominant traits:
curiosity and pettiness.

One moment they were naming animals; the next, they were squabbling over rocks.

God considered scrapping the project but had already promised he would create for seven days
and couldn’t back out now without the board being pissed off.

The Structure of Heaven (Such As It Is)

Heaven, contrary to poetic belief, is less a choir and more of a semi-functioning administration.

God is the head of everything and also the one answering tech support.

Yeah, the original inventor of, ‘did you try turning it off and on again.’

Yeah, a kind of wireless connection that sometimes leaves right at the critical juncture.

The archangels serve as middle management.

Gabriel writes passive-aggressive memos. Gabriel is petty.

Michael has anger issues and once punched Lucifer into hell.
They would have knock down drag out fights and then yeah hell.

No one knows what Raphael does, but morale drops when he’s gone.

Jesus once came to Earth as a one-man damage control team.

Ok, he was sent.

He delivered his message, performed miracles, and was promptly misunderstood, misquoted, and they turned his sermons into bumper stickers.

He now spends most of his time making loaves of sourdough and spying on humans.

The Empire Glitch

Empires were not part of the original plan.

God’s idea was more “be gentle caretakers” and less “conquer, hoard, and bulldoze the sacred.”

But humans, equipped with too much ambition and greed and not enough wisdom or knowledge, turned the world into a competition.

They carved borders, built towers, and claimed God as their ambassador.

God issued a formal notice once:

“I said stewardship. Not monopoly. Stop weaponizing my words.”

—The Management

Naturally, no one read it.

They were too busy building temples. e

Naturally, no one read it.

The irony.

And Now?

The world groans.

The oceans swell. The skies choke.

The empire is crumbling beneath its own weight, still insisting everything is under control.

Meanwhile, somewhere far away, God watches Earth like a play that’s dying and has bad reviews.

There is exhaustion.

This was not the intention.

What will happen next?

Stay tuned as it unfolds.

You do have front row seats.

Ha Ha!

Laughter as Medicine

“When there’s nothing left to give, give your laugh to the void. It confuses the heck out of them.

It won’t save us, but it remembers what hope sounded like.

Laughter is how we cheat despair.

Even God chuckles at the mess sometimes.

One Last Thing

That explains a lot, in hindsight. Don’t you think so?

Why humans cry while laughing and laugh while grieving.

Why cats refuse to follow any known physical laws.

Why love works best when it makes absolutely no sense.

Wisdom

“God made mud. God got lonesome. So God said to some of the mud, “Sit up!”…

And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.

Lucky me, lucky mud.

I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.

Nice going, God.”

~ — Kurt Vonnegut, from Cat’s Cradle.

“This is part of our ‘Threads’ series: You only need to pull one thread.” ->