Threads
Laughter at the end of the world. Entry 002
A Practical Guide to Daily Life in a Dying Empire
Welcome!
Welcome to the United States of Emotional Bankruptcy, circa now.
Where the national bird is the whistleblower, the flag has been replaced with a “technical difficulties” screen, and the official language is gaslight with a chance of deflection.
Congratulations. .
You’re alive during the collapse of a superpower. .
Please enjoy your complementary thoughts and prayers.
Morning Rituals Under Late-Stage Capitalism
Step one: Wake up. Realize healthcare is still tied to employment.
Step two: Scream into your reusable anxiety jar.
Step three: Check your feeds:
– One part climate change
– Two parts billionaire acting like he owns the universe
– Three parts “the Supreme Court has decided…”
– Breakfast includes:
– Coffee with a shot of whatever your poison is
– Eggs over existential dread
– Toast, but it’s burnt and blames you for it
What’s on the News Today?
Nothing. It’s not news.
It’s content.
Today’s headlines:
The FBI would like to remind you they’re not the bad guys (despite the files).
DEI has been outlawed for making white people uncomfortable.
A billionaire is offering one lucky winner a ticket to the moon, but not health insurance.
Water is now a subscription. Hmmm!
In local news:
A community garden was raided for suspicious acts of joy.
Wellness Under Fascism
Self-care now includes:
Screaming into a pillow shaped like the Constitution
Meditating to the sound of distant sirens
Yoga studios have been rebranded as “Flexibility Compliance Institutions.”
Try the new pose, Downward Facing Don’t Resist.
Resistance Lite
You can now choose from the following pre-approved forms of protest:
Hashtagging your trauma
Changing your profile picture to a filtered mushroom
Buying tote bags that say “Defund Something”
Full revolution requires a permit.
Permit applications are currently closed for security reasons.
Grief Etiquette at the End of Democracy
Wear black, but make it ironic
Speak softly, because the microphones are on
Mourn not just the loss of justice—but the audacity it once had to pretend
Remember:
Laughing is still legal… for now.
Use it like incense.
Burn it in the halls of power.
Laugh till yuh belly buss.
One Last Thing
If all else fails, meet at the old bookstore with the hidden basement.
Bring snacks.
Bring stories.
Bring salt.
The world is ending.
Who has the secret weapon this week?
Wisdom
In the event of a Mad Max-style post-apocalyptic dystopia, people with supplies of food and water could become warlords or chieftains in the social order that emerges out of the rubble. ~Nish Kumar
We laugh, not because it’s funny—
but because the most dangerous weapon is laughter they didn’t plant.
they control the narrative
we control the doubt
“This is part of our ‘Threads’ series: You only need to pull one thread.” ->
→ Turn the Page